This piece is the runner-up of the Sweet July x Girls Write Now Contest: Passing Down Our Stories. Writer: Chanelle Ferguson; Illustration by Asma Al-Masyabi. Read the first-place piece here.
A tradition that has been passed down in my Jamaican family is fear of choosing self.
Waking up to rise into a new day thinking of someone else other than God.
Multitask with roles of family, love, work, home, pain.
Sometimes repeating the same lessons from yesterday.
Ignoring the fire in your gut reminding you to choose yourself.
Just for one moment.
We are here right now physically present.
That is what I remind myself when a thought of fear runs up my mind.
Shaping a purpose for self healing.
Expressing it on the page with a pen
Taking scenic walks in the park is my new coping style.
Here I am again reshaping a generational cycle of giving with soul expressions
Photos, poems, music, herbs, plants, and dreams.
Tradition feels like communal reenactment.
Hoarding talents we all have been gifted with because there is always something else to do.
Rushing through mind, body, heart, and soul care.
Sleeping on original ideas and businesses.
Because of fear in trying something new.
Here we are again living in another generation.
Ignoring the fire in your gut reminding you to choose yourself.
Just for one moment.
