Rachel Cargle is challenging Black women to avoid mindlessly leaping onto the “life escalator.”
The best-selling author, bookstore owner, and Loveland Foundation founder shared valuable insights at the “A Day of Rest” retreat hosted by A Little Day Brunch on Saturday, March 23, powered by Ketel One and Seedlip. During the keynote conversation, Cargle dived into the layers “me season”—the event’s theme—with moderator and Sweet July’s managing editor Brianne Garrett. She defines this “life escalator” as the expected trajectory women often feel pressured to follow: Milestones like school, high school, college, partners, houses, babies, work, and retirement.
“A lot of us are running races we don’t even want to win,” declared Cargle, stressing the importance of curating your life instead of just coasting. A lifetime of one-size-fits-all achievements can feel automatic, but it does not have to, according to the celebrated creative. “A lot of people we’ve seen, particularly in older generations, kind of just fall into a life,” she added. “I’m not interested in feeling that way.”
Her words resonated with the audience at A Little Day Brunch—a crowd of self-starting women from across the tri-state area, who braved a ceaseless storm raging above New York to connect with themselves and one another. There were performers, producers, publicists, pilots, chefs, and caretakers among the guests.
The retreat was hosted in a pair of neighboring multimillion-dollar townhouses in Crown Heights, Brooklyn. After kicking off the morning with an energizing sound bath led by Italia Woodson, guests nibbled on fresh fruit and mini croissants while sipping cocktails provided by Kettle One, who also furnished the affair with large-scale flower displays and vibrant yoga mats.
Activities throughout the day included a yoga class taught by Shelly Mayfield, painting, floral arranging, a cooking demonstration by Chef Siri, a tea-blending session led by Soulfluential founder and master herbalist Bianca Wilson, a writing workshop led by Little herself, and a cocktail-making class hosted by Bar Rescue star and Bar Juicy founder Chantal “Juicy” Anderson. Attendees enjoyed amenities, including Sweet July facials and a sauna sponsored by Seedlip infused with signature herbs in their alcohol-free spirits.
They munched on succulent dinner selections by Chef Siri including stuffed salmon, seared chicken breast coated in garlic and fresh herbs, creamy spinach, and rich potatoes. Vegan guests enjoyed pasta with sundried tomatoes, mushrooms, and seasoned spinach.
This was the latest event in an ongoing series curated by founder Bri Little, whose mission is to provide restful experiences for Black women and foster a community where they can consider their next steps for professional and personal development with care.
“The theme is ‘Me Season: The Elevation,’” said Little, before introducing the discussion between Cargle and Garrett. “We hope that today you feel like you prioritized yourself.”
Every A Little Day Brunch retreat takes on a different theme, each spotlighting a different facet of self-care. This event’s “me season” focus felt timely, fueling necessary conversations and reflections across activity spaces. During one tea blending class, a group poured out their visions for their higher selves as they sipped from a carefully curated selection of customized teas.
“Me season is mostly about understanding myself for myself, outside of what any other lens or gaze in the world has told me,” said Cargle. Much of her work helps others do the same. Her Rich Auntie Supreme platform, for example, is a community dedicated to celebrating “those who indulge in the lifestyle of being childfree by choice.”
She also detailed how therapy helped her cultivate a dream life that centered on her unique desires instead of expected milestones. It also helped her think about the alternatives to the path she was on. Cargle’s relationship with therapy spurred the launch of the Loveland Foundation—a “juicy economy of care” for Black therapists and Black women and girls unable to afford therapy on their own. The organization raises money to help Black women access therapy services and pays therapists for their services. “We’ve served up to 6,000 Black women and girls,” Cargle reported. One of the attendees revealed that the foundation helped her access the mental health care she needed; she thanked Cargle for founding it.
Caring for herself is the only way Cargle is able to execute such an important mission. She emphasizes, “Being your best self should be a priority because it will pull you into the space where you can show up the best for your community and other spaces.” For Cargle, being her best self involves savoring her love of slow mornings and embracing spontaneity—both part of her renewed sense of consciousness that arrived in her mid-30s.
“If your dream is about satisfying or impressing other people, then you will automatically be left out,” she warned the guests. “If your dream is fulfilling a goal that has been suggested to you, as opposed to being decided upon by you and curated by you, you’re going to leave yourself out.”
As the day winded down, guests embraced one another and bopped to the tunes of Anita Baker and Brandy before departing with heavily stuffed gift bags containing skincare products from Sweet July and additional items from L’Oréal, Carol’s Daughter, COSRX, Urban Decay, YSL Beauty, and a customized Kettle One tee-shirt slung over their shoulders. More importantly, they toted home memories of their relaxing experiences and Cargle’s lasting advice.
